A ray of hope

Cielo and I have gone through some difficult times. I have reached a level of depression that was not leading me in a good path. This was not just one person’s fault, a combination of circumstances made it difficult to even breathe.

Love can be hard at times, but my motto in life has always been… “A road without obstacles does not lead anywhere.” For Cielo and I lately it has seemed like the obstacles have been too much, like the bumps of the road had actually damaged us. I prayed to God yesterday to let me know if what I was doing was right and all I could feel was the deep love I have for this woman. If that is not my answer, then I do not know what it is. True love will persevere.

I am not saying that life is happy and that I am back to normal just yet, but I see a ray of hope. I am committing myself to work on myself and my happiness, we as a couple are committing ourselves to get help and move forward on building a life together and foundation for a marriage. I want to have not just a family; I want a family with Cielo more than anything. Having that will make me happy. We will get through this honey. WE WILL.

Weight loss

I have battled my weight probably my whole life… actually not that long, when I was a kid until like 4 I was actually a picky eater and pretty skinny but my Mom from then on wanted to make sure I eat good meals and pretty much everything. She used to even give me vitamins and stuff. Well it worked. I have once again reached a weight that I am not comfortable with and my cholesterol is pretty high for my age.

I have in the past worked out quite a bit and watched what I eat but nothing seems to work. It can get quite frustrating when you are not only on a diet, but also are working out 2 – 3 hours a day. I did this for the better part of two years. I was doing lots of cardio workout, plus free-weights and at the end I looked the same, I was probably healthy but I did not feel I was getting the results for the effort. I want to see the six pack that I know I have under the flab.

I just got my cholesterol checked and I have to call the doctor back because he has some “recommendations” for me. Hopefully one of them is not for me to start taking cholesterol medication but it might be. As frustrating as it might be I have to start once again watching what I eat and also exercising again. But I am going to try something different this time. Actually tracking stuff here. Since I have my blog I have not worked out consistently or really watch what I eat. I am not sure how in depth I am going to get with posting about my progress here but I will start by saying that right now I am at 241. My ultimate goal would be 180, but my realistic goal is 200. Either way I have to start putting a lot of effort into it. I am not going to get into a strict diet just yet, but I am trying to lower my intake. I am however going to start really concentrating on the workout part.

I have a busy life, but if I do not watch it I might not have a life to worry about in the future if I do not get myself into gear. So I guess from today on the Logtar weight loss challenge begins.

quiz thing

Have not done one of this in a while and had to steal this one.

My name is: John
I may seem:like a nice person
People who know me think: a good person that you do not want to cross
If you knew me you’d probably: be surprised by how different I can be from what you see here.
Sometimes I feel: like I need 24 extra hours in every day.
My days are pretty: full, wish I had more time.
Yesterday: Woke up, had coffee and a muffin, worked, had a good lunch, worked, had pop corn, watched TV, read, slept.
In the morning I: wake up to an amazing woman right next to me.
I like to sleep: holding onto my baby.
If I could be doing anything right now I would be: Traveling the world with the woman I love.
Money: is not every, but it does help.
One thing I don’t have that I wish I did is: a motorcycle
One thing I have that I wish I didn’t is: this cold that will not go away.
All you need is: love.
All I need is: more time and money
If I had one wish it would be: To not need money.
Love is: Cielo.
If I could see one person right now it would be: My baby, soon :)
Something I want but I don’t really need is: a second motorcycle
I live for: the persuit of happiness.
I am afraid of: confined spaces.
It makes me angry when: Life is harder than what it seems it should be.
I dream about: Things I cannot remember.
I daydream about: Remodeling the house, traveling, winning the lotto, the future.

Time for a little logtar Humor

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

“What are you doing?” She asked.

“Hunting Flies” He responded.

“Oh. Killing any?” She asked.

“Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. “How can you tell them apart?”

He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.”


And here is how Man ruin romance

Intensity (****)

I have been told before that I should read Dean Koontz but I never got the chance until Cielo suggested Intensity. I am glad I read the book because Mr. Koontz is indeed an excellent writer. His descriptive narrative is excellent and it immerses you in a world that is not only full of sinister twist details but also leaves bread crumbs as shred of hope. I might have read his best book but I doubt it. I cannot wait to start reading another one of his novels.

A young woman staying as a guest in a Napa Valley farmhouse becomes trapped in a fight for survival with a self-proclaimed “homicidal adventurer”, and races to warn his next intended victim. Unrelentingly terrifying, this book lives up to its name.

Intensity is a fast paced book that does character points of view beautifully. You feel the fear and urgency of the victims, and when it switches point of view to the other side you can experience the intensity of the villain. At first the book seemed dark, very dark with little hope. As the story unfolds hope is dangled in front of you as a carrot that seems unreachable.

I recommend reading this book while I do advise those of weak stomach to proceed with caution. There are very graphic instances where you might have to read carefully or end up giving your dinner to the toilet. To find out if evil wins the battle in the end you will have to turn the pages. Some might think that letting the bad guys win is a bad thing, but don’t we live in the real world? :)

Happy reading.

Logtar’s book rating

(*) Don’t bother even reading the synopsis
(**) If you want to kill some time
(***) Great reading for a long trip
(****) Must Read

buy at Amazon.com