Community and Maturity

“We are all longing to go home to some place we have never been – a place half-remembered and half-envisioned we can only catch glimpses of from time to time. Community. Somewhere, there are people to whom we can speak with passion without having the words catch in our throats. Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive us, eyes will light up as we enter, voices will celebrate with us whenever we come into our own power. Community means strength that joins our strength to do the work that needs to be done. Arms to hold us when we falter. A circle of healing. A circle of friends. Someplace where we can be free.”

“One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them.”
-Virginia Woolf

So what is logtar trying to do, fry your noodle… not really. This is actually not that confusing once you read what I am trying to address. At the same time who knows if I can really eloquently express what I am feeling without getting into the details of the situation that I am trying to stay out of. After moving to Michigan I felt very alone. I kept on longing for friendships that were miles away back in Chicago. While those friendships are still there and they are just as strong as before I cannot see them as often as I used to. It is all part of moving and starting new. I was for a while part of another group that I had to also leave. Since then I joined 2 communities. One is the Blogsphere where I have found many good friends on complete strangers that are all across the vast earth and the other one was the LAN community.

I have observed something very troubling in both, people losing sight of what a community really is and resorting back to immaturity. Name-calling, clique forming, it happened in third grade it happens again here. I never got in the middle of it when it happened in the blogsphere, I was new and I did not want to take sides. I just let things play out and tried to stay out of the way. Now a similar thing is once again happening in the Michigan LAN community and I am just simply disgusted.

A couple of LAN groups have started a subtle war, and it is just sad to sit in the sidelines and watch it all go down. The saddest part is that it all start with passive aggressive comments, then it escalates. It has happened about once every couple of months since I have been trying to be a part of the whole scene. One would think that attempts to make the situation better would be the norm, but it seems like some people just like to have their jealousy and anger rule their lives and are willing to just keep the drama going for ever. As I type this words I am unsure of what I really want to accomplish, I know it is pointless to make people see that what they are doing is not helping anyone because I already have tried to be up front and honest with my points of view. So I will just sit back and do what I always do with the quotes, read them and explain what they mean to me.

Starhawk has the best definition of community that I could find. As humans we always want to have a community however small or big. I think a community can be as small as a family or as big as the World Wide Web. In the end they are all the same we want a group of people that can understand us and make us feel accepted a part of something bigger.

Woolf then tells us is that part of growing up is being able to interact with others. I marry that concept with maturity and say that part of being mature is being able to hold relationships with people. This is no easy task since we are all our own worlds, but it can be accomplished through respect and compromise. It is sad that this level of understanding cannot be achieved by some that respect in some ways has been dragged down to the bottom of the sea along with common sense. I hope that some day this can stop and we can all start getting along a little better. Until then I will try to respect others, but stand by what I believe and if I lose some friends along the way so be it.

I guess I should just settle this in my head by understanding that humans are just conflictive by nature. But I do believe that we can all get along, and more so in the communities with like-minded individuals that we form. Some day people will be able to leave jealousy and envy behind and start building instead of destroying.

3 comments on “Community and Maturity

  1. What can I say. That’s the EXACT reason why Kris and I don’t really hang out exclusively with “friends”. It’s just too much drama.

  2. I come to learn that it takes a great persononality to know how to deal with all the different kinds of characters out there. Noone is the same. everyone is different in a certain aspect. The way to deal I’ve come to learn is to LISTEN to those people and try to understand where they come from! LISTENING is a huge step and actually paying attention to what they are saying!

  3. Very good write up on community. Unfortunently i know exactly what situation you are talking without the need for details. Mostly because i’m a cause for it. I have a feeling the only way people THIS different can get along, is to stay away from each other. However, the only issue, that the internet throws in, is whenever someone on either side feels a little sausy, they can quickly visit another site and start it all over again. Hence the reason this crap happens every 3 months. This community needs more logtars.

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